![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Dec. 27th, 2005 05:09 pm
(no subject)
So I just found several shorts from Absolute Write prompts while pulling a portfolio together, and I decided to show you this one. Partly because a lot of you will be able to ID the person I used as my 'stranger on the train'.
The prompt:
You are on the subway. It is Midnight...the bars are emptying and the streets are filtering into the subway. You're sitting in the back corner taking in the action. Look around you and describe to your reader what you see. Make the spectacle come to life for them...
Go for 5 minutes...and don't edit yourself.
The result:
Nobody notices me, sitting there in the corner seat, curled up even smaller than usual. I hold a book as a shield; no-one glances twice at a reader on the subway, and it allows me to observe people without appearing to.
She gets on at the stop after mine. Looking at her makes me drop any pretense of reading and just stare openly. People like her appear on my train from time to time, people who are worth writing about, and so I reach in my bag for a notebook. I don't take my eyes off her.
She is tall, I write, tall and lanky, with long reddish-blond hair. She wears a trenchcoat of silver, over black leather pants and a top that laces, and a top hat, black. She turns to look at me briefly; her eyes are blue-gray. She wears a messenger bag - black again - dotted with pins. I look down; her boots are scuffed black, lace-up.
Desirous demon, I name her, for that's what the biggest pin proclaims. And then the train stops, and I must get off. She watches me go. As the train pulls away, I turn for one last glance.
The girl raises a hand to me, in silent farewell, and suddenly, I know I'll see her again.
Yeeeeah, you know who you are.
The prompt:
You are on the subway. It is Midnight...the bars are emptying and the streets are filtering into the subway. You're sitting in the back corner taking in the action. Look around you and describe to your reader what you see. Make the spectacle come to life for them...
Go for 5 minutes...and don't edit yourself.
The result:
Nobody notices me, sitting there in the corner seat, curled up even smaller than usual. I hold a book as a shield; no-one glances twice at a reader on the subway, and it allows me to observe people without appearing to.
She gets on at the stop after mine. Looking at her makes me drop any pretense of reading and just stare openly. People like her appear on my train from time to time, people who are worth writing about, and so I reach in my bag for a notebook. I don't take my eyes off her.
She is tall, I write, tall and lanky, with long reddish-blond hair. She wears a trenchcoat of silver, over black leather pants and a top that laces, and a top hat, black. She turns to look at me briefly; her eyes are blue-gray. She wears a messenger bag - black again - dotted with pins. I look down; her boots are scuffed black, lace-up.
Desirous demon, I name her, for that's what the biggest pin proclaims. And then the train stops, and I must get off. She watches me go. As the train pulls away, I turn for one last glance.
The girl raises a hand to me, in silent farewell, and suddenly, I know I'll see her again.
Yeeeeah, you know who you are.
Tags: